Im the one who seek for her attention at first, then we get close. Everything goes normal. Suddenly i push her away. I start missing someone too much. Not her, but someone else. Fucking crap when i blame her for that. I said the way she cares for me make me think of someone. I make her cry. Then after a long time, we seeing each other. One day, she ask me if i contact with that person. Well. Shit happen. Ofcourse, bcause of me. Then i said im sorry. Im feel so guilty. Something happen. Since that day, i push everyone away. Anyone. Including her. I make her cry again. Now, when i was in my sem break. I want to get close with her again. Cause still need her. She been so nice to me. I can talk literally everything with her. But im afraid i hurt her one more time. Idk what is this feeling. Idk if this is love. I don't want it. Last time i felt it, im totally lose control. Messed up. But i know, i sayang you. But get close to you, just make you hurt. All this bcause i care.bout you. I don't want you hurt yourself again bcause of me. But i always appreciate all your gifts. I keep it safe. I read it all night. Thank you